I’m peaking through the bandages, to see if I can handle it
This life without you here right now, trying so hard to understand how
with all this love and joy you brought, and all the stories and lessons you taught
that even though we knew we could, we promised that if ever life should
get too much
too tough
too hard to bear
we knew that in each other someone would always be there
to fight
to shoulder
to carry on
but my broken heart can’t take that you’re gone
There’s a lover inside of you
Tender and kind
A being who appreciates
Sweet kisses and time
There’s a lover inside you
That wants long gazes and hugs
Snuggled up in the covers just because
There’s a lover inside you
Who wants nothing more
Than the lover in someone else
To take the time to explore
Every crevice and curve
Every heartbreak and tear
Someone who genuinely just wants you near
But there’s an Ego around you
That blocks out the pain
Keeps away the hurt and despair
That comes with the rain
There’s an Ego around you
That pushes people away
To protect the soft heart inside you
That can’t take another heartbreak
There’s an Ego around you
That lashes out cloked as wit
Sarcastic phrases, cynical shit
This Ego around you
Casts the image of a black heart
But I see through your veil
I think I see a warm start
Of the lover inside you
Wanting to emerge again
And I’ve got nothing but time
So I’ll wait till you let me in.
The smudge of her charcoal eyeliner felt heavy on her hand. Shit she thought. What was the point?
Pretty faces blinked eyelashes full. Her mascara couldn’t do half. Highlighted cheek bones glowed golden peach. Only brittled scars from battle acne riddled her pores. Piling on concealer, layering walls covering tear streaks etched. Lips matted red, chipped teeth grinning because you’re never fully dressed without a smile she pushed. Head high, chin up beautiful because confidence is key. Show them who you want to be. Give that energy, poor out good. Let your hearts compass guide through life’s tries and never let your words go misunderstood.
That was the point she thought, wiping the charcoal from her hand. Keep going.
Tantalizing kisses sweet as honey dew melons
Sad little love songs full of hopeful visions
lead to eyelash wishes
and dreams of being your Mrs.
I’ve got moonlight in my hands
The warmth of a star so close to me
can’t even comprehend
This beautiful soul I see
She’s got this smile about her
That from the corner gently teases
Coaxing kisses from lips so soft
My heart skips into pieces
It’s not often I’m silent in her presence
Pumping her full of my pointless banter
But just one glance up from those eyes
And nothing I’ve said matters
She’s snowfall over bonfires
Or rainfall in a drought
She’s the Carmel to my apple
And everything life’s about
So with this moonlight in my hands
And the warmth of a star so close to me
We’ll stroll through the darkness
Blowing down blunt wrapped trees
I had to fall apart to see all the pieces
Laid out in front of me like a road map to recovery I could pinpoint exactly where the rip in my seem was. I had been stuffing myself full of nothings. Full of air, no weight inside threatening to collapse from lack of structure. Who taught you how to love? I had been stumbling along crafting hopes and dreams but what was 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮….
Can I just lay with you till the morning comes, till our lips have dried and fingers undone. Listening intently as your chest raises and falls, it’s here in your arms that my demons crawl slowly but away, escaping our fairytale turned raw. In the morning as the sun seeps through like honey blood, sticky shining down on this unshakable love.
It was just a week ago
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