Cold Hearted

There’s a lover inside of you

Tender and kind

A being who appreciates 

Sweet kisses and time

There’s a lover inside you

That wants long gazes and hugs

Snuggled up in the covers just because

There’s a lover inside you

Who wants nothing more

Than the lover in someone else

To take the time to explore

Every crevice and curve 

Every heartbreak and tear

Someone who genuinely just wants you near

But there’s an Ego around you

That blocks out the pain

Keeps away the hurt and despair 

That comes with the rain

There’s an Ego around you

That pushes people away

To protect the soft heart inside you

That can’t take another heartbreak 

There’s an Ego around you

That lashes out cloked as wit

Sarcastic phrases, cynical shit 

This Ego around you 

Casts the image of a black heart

But I see through your veil

I think I see a warm start

Of the lover inside you

Wanting to emerge again

And I’ve got nothing but time

So I’ll wait till you let me in.

Black Lines

The smudge of her charcoal eyeliner felt heavy on her hand. Shit she thought. What was the point?

Pretty faces blinked eyelashes full. Her mascara couldn’t do half. Highlighted cheek bones glowed golden peach. Only brittled scars from battle acne riddled her pores. Piling on concealer, layering walls covering tear streaks etched. Lips matted red, chipped teeth grinning because you’re never fully dressed without a smile she pushed. Head high, chin up beautiful because confidence is key. Show them who you want to be. Give that energy, poor out good. Let your hearts compass guide through life’s tries and never let your words go misunderstood.

That was the point she thought, wiping the charcoal from her hand. Keep going.

₣ɎⱤɆ

I’ve got moonlight in my hands

The warmth of a star so close to me

can’t even comprehend

This beautiful soul I see

She’s got this smile about her

That from the corner gently teases

Coaxing kisses from lips so soft

My heart skips into pieces

It’s not often I’m silent in her presence

Pumping her full of my pointless banter

But just one glance up from those eyes

And nothing I’ve said matters

She’s snowfall over bonfires

Or rainfall in a drought

She’s the Carmel to my apple

And everything life’s about

So with this moonlight in my hands

And the warmth of a star so close to me

We’ll stroll through the darkness

Blowing down blunt wrapped trees

Pause, a ᴿᴱᶠᴸᴱᶜᵀᴵᴼᴺ

I had to fall apart to see all the pieces

Laid out in front of me like a road map to recovery I could pinpoint exactly where the rip in my seem was. I had been stuffing myself full of nothings. Full of air, no weight inside threatening to collapse from lack of structure. Who taught you how to love? I had been stumbling along crafting hopes and dreams but what was 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮….

𝓑𝓛𝓤𝓔

Can I just lay with you till the morning comes, till our lips have dried and fingers undone. Listening intently as your chest raises and falls, it’s here in your arms that my demons crawl slowly but away, escaping our fairytale turned raw. In the morning as the sun seeps through like honey blood, sticky shining down on this unshakable love.

Throwback

It was just a week ago

I was floating in dreams
Heart beating for you
But things weren’t as they seemed
It was just a month ago
I was writing for you
Confessing my love
But falling for words untrue
Seems like just yesterday
You were holding my hand
Kissing my lips
Telling me you were my man
But today is different
From all those other times
I finally woke up
And realized you were never mine
So why is it that you still possess my thoughts
I still want your love, without it I’m lost
How is it that your name still rest on my tongue
memories of a fake love song unsung
When will it stop, this endless ache for you
When can I stop loving you?

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