I had to fall apart to see all the pieces
Laid out in front of me like a road map to recovery I could pinpoint exactly where the rip in my seem was. I had been stuffing myself full of nothings. Full of air, no weight inside threatening to collapse from lack of structure. Who taught you how to love? I had been stumbling along crafting hopes and dreams but what was 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮….
She was lost and she knew it.
Looking for a corner to engulf her hurting soul, someone to finally make her feel whole. A piece to fix a broken half, but scattered shards can’t fix damaged glass.
She was defeated….but pushed through it.
Do not be meek, hold your head high, be bold be proud, it’s ok to cry. You’re not crazy or insane for expressing your views. You have every right to demand how they treat you. Mistakes do not define you, let the past be where it is. I pen this as a reminder to myself….you got this kid.
Smoking was my nastiest habit
that’s how I think of you
A blemish on my perfectly imperfect life
You live to make mistakes
promises made to be broken, lies told when words spoken
I don’t dislike what transpired
I was drawn to it
dragged to it like the nicotine from the filter of my newports
that rushing high felt when your drug of false love hit my veins
left me feeling filthy like the ash tray of a mouth I had
the blanket of a toddler being pulled across the floor
mindlessly cause you cling to it but chase every bright object that crosses your eye
you wouldn’t let me go
No matter how hard I tried to kick the habit
I was always brought back
even now the thought of a puff makes me lick my lips in wonder