I promise I will burn this world. Scorch it darker than midnights with no moons. My mind screams constantly with regrets of missed openings, tiny slits that needed to be pried. Cracked doors that begged to be swung wide, quickly I walked past adverting my eyes. I will stand confidently alone. No props or side bars, no braces or crutches. No shade. Reminding myself continuously, that by myself, there’s nothing myself can’t accomplish myself. Letting my voice be the loudest one I hear. The only one that matters. Loving and soothing, I won’t need reassurance. I feel the candle flickering, the flame gently tickling. And soon….I will burn this world.
This is an ode to the often misinterpreted loves.
To the friendships that seem deep and knowing, when really they’re just a tally of who’s done what so far. The friendships that at one time seemed close, but lately just exists. The ones who’ve turned their confidant into a sounding board, just someone to talk at rather than talk to. Those close friends who can no longer determine if they hate you or just the things you do.
A toast to the parents who should be loving an understanding, but instead have become judgemental and demanding. No longer wishing for your hopes and dreams, but envious of your “unearned” success. Cause you know….you had it easy because of them.
Oh and lets not forget those lovers of past and present. Those everlasting, never-ending, enduring, unconditional..you name it, loves. The ones who said they’d never hurt you, leave you or deceive you loves. The ones who smile in you’re face and tell you “Everything’s Great“, loves. Those tricky, conniving ……..convince you the relationships “thriving” loves. You fall asleep next to, but wake alone loves. The “hey I called you”oh “i didn’t mean to text YOU” loves. The “I love you” but I’m not in “LOVE” with you loves.
Hollow relationships are hard to identify till you look internally and realize you’re not whole. You may walk, talk, and motion through the movements……but are YOU really there. It’s just a shell. You’re saying what you think is right….but do you believe it. You’re reacting how you THINK you should, but do you feel it. Are you there? Sometime you don’t know it’s not reality. If you fake it long enough, it’s easier to swallow. Don’t be hollow. Say what you mean. Show how you feel. Real love will endure.