When you’re wrong….you’re wrong.

You know how I know karma is real? That bitch keeps slapping me in the back of my head. There’s this one particular time when she pretty much sucker punched the breath out of me and honestly I deserved it. You ever been in a relationship, happily in a relationship I might add, but it seems like everything thing walking is suddenly attracted to you? And try as you might to ignore the looks and flirtatious conversations sometimes somebody just catches your eye. I had been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs, the longest long distance relationship ever. 2 different countries, 2 different time zones, it was ridiculous but we made it work. Forced it damn near. We loved each other, there was no doubting that but being separated that long brought its’ fair share of issues, trust being one of them. You get into a routine of calling at certain times, texting when possible. Those things become the very life line of the relationship. So when the life line is stretched or pressed things start to crumble. During this particular season it seemed that EVERYTHING was pushing the limits. One too few “I love you’ s”, not enough paid attention during a conversation. Too many dropped or missed calls, so much tension in the air. So when my job sent me to training that lasted 6 weeks, it was almost no surprise that 2 weeks in, our relationship was hanging by a thread. It did not help that during this training there were quite a few eye catching men who had no problem distracting me from my frustrations. One guy in particular was bold enough to ask me out on a date. Of course I said no and made it clear I was in a relationship, but that didn’t stop him from staring, smiling, and yes winking when he caught my eye. It was ridiculous. Trying to contain my excitement from having someone notice me and in the next thought cursing myself for enjoying it. And then the subsequent guilt for not remembering my loving but aggravating boyfriend. To make matters worse, Mr. Bold had a friend who I will deem Mr. Nice Guy. Now Mr. Nice guy was funny, and sweet. He was talkative and friendly with everyone so I had no problem becoming friends with Mr. Nice guy. I thought it was a platonic friendship. Thought. Now during this time while I am making friends and rightfully enjoying the time away from my job and the training, my boyfriend is about at his wits end with my new schedule. Phones weren’t allowed in the classroom during this training so the random texting throughout the day stopped. There were lots of projects and research required, so most of my down time was spent at the training facility with my group or at the library. This however was no excuse for my love. I don’t know if it was really the time constraint or the sudden popularity among the opposite sex (probably both…yea I’ll go with both) but I no longer had the patience to deal with my relationship, so I ended it. 2yrs out the window. Done. It was on a Wednesday and I cried all night, but by Friday my new friends insisted we go out for drinks. Everyone from training would be there, so it seemed only right that I go. In fact Mr. Nice Guy was nice enough to send me a message on Facebook making sure I was coming. And my now ex-boyfriend was kind enough to check my Facebook for me and let me know that Mr. Nice Guy wanted to make sure I was coming. ….

Honestly I do. As much as I talk to myself, you’d think typing it up wouldn’t be an issue……WRONG. I spend 80% of my day in front of a computer screen…at work. The last think I want to do when I get home is sit in front of the computer, so I just stare at my phone screen lol. Seriously though I have been working on some awesome stuff, haven’t finished any of it, but it’s pretty good so far. Actually I think I’ll post a snippet of one of the stories. For the time being I’ll just keep posting my thoughts, as they come and go….